Maintaining Change

Okay, so we have made some good changes in our life, now how do we hold on to them?  How do we help those we love and/or care about who have brought positive change into their life?

For the person who is on the path of a changed life it is so important to have supports in place even before we need them. Then we can contact them (counselor, recovery coach, spiritual leader…) on a regular basis and share our challenges and joys in change.  We can share our concerns if things start to feel off: Off being – ‘actual feelings, sleep patterns, or eating habits; Off in that we are thinking of using, justifying using or remembering those ‘good old days’ when we were using’. If we catch ourselves or ask for help when we are slipping sometimes we can avoid the fall. And even if we fall we don’t have to hit the ground as hard.

When someone you love and/or care about is on a new and healthy path, the best thing we can do is offer support. How that looks depends on what they tell us: “Mom I can’t come over when Uncle Joe is there.” “Dad I need you to look for the good sometimes”. “Can you ever forgive me?” The answers “Okay, I will let you know if Uncle Joe is here and will understand if you leave when he comes”. “I will try to look for the good. I may need some help there.” “Yes, I have already forgiven you”.

All of our journeys are intertwined. When someone we love and care about is on a new path we can learn new ways too.  Each person and family are different. Each path has its own ups and downs – twists and turns.

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